Pet Ownership Rocks!

Monty and I aren’t speaking to each other. It’s a stony silence, one filled with looks loaded with meaning and reproach. It all started two days ago. I’m busy cleaning house and Monty is out for his morning jog around the downstairs. I’d just moved his cage inside because Paul’s been sleeping in until noon and through his room is the only way into the garage. I felt bad about leaving Monty in the garage with the light off for more than twelve hours and since he’s so well behaved I thought it’d be alright to move him into the living room. Plus that way he’d have some company throughout the day and some light.

Anyway, so I’m in the kitchen doodling around with some cinnamon raisin bread I’m baking (which turned out just dandy, if I do say so myself) when I feel an insistent nudge against my ankle. I look down and see Monty’s little face peering at me. He then takes off for upstairs. I thought,

“Now that’s weird, I wonder what he’s up to.”

So I followed after him. I reach the landing and see him peering around the door jam from my room at the top of the stairs. He darts back into my room as soon as he’s sure I’ve spotted him. The minute I round the corner into my room he leaps onto my bed.

Now, this is usually fine. He likes to wrestle with my comforter and flop around on the bed all the time. This time, however, there’s a mischievous glint in his eye as he soars through the foot of air from the ground to my bed. He turns around, stairs right at me and the proceeds to pee all over my bed. I catch him half way and haul him down the stairs into his now conveniently located bachelor pad in the living room and quickly try to salvage my bed. No good. So right now we’re not talking. He’s mad about something in the same way cats get mad at their people and then yack in that person’s slippers. And then I thought, " You know what? Right now you live in a nice, warm house with all the food you want AND I didn't get you neutered when you went to the vet mister, so you have no reason to be peeing on my bed." So, really, I should have some sort of automatic get-out-of-jail-free card right about now.

Animals like to seek revenge by using their bodily fluids to make a dandy mess. This is pretty effective because now I’ve been spending my time feeding him treats and trying to get on his good side again. At least people don’t retaliate in the same way… thank God for “civilized”.