Oh Craigslist, You Silly Thing You

Hmm... what kind of jobs could I get on craigslist? Ahh... this'll do!

Blood and Gore: Makeup special FX person needed (Portland)

We are shooting a music video this Sunday the 12th and we need someone that can do ma3keup special FX for limbs being chopped off, fake skin, cuts etc... It's a one day shoot, it will be a good time. You can see some of my music videos and commercial at http://whiteyfilms.com/.

Location: Portland
Compensation: $300.00 for the day

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Oh, and...

Dog Loving Outdoor PooperScooper Team Member Needed (Portland)

Are you a reliable, hardworking, responsible individual who loves working outdoors and likes dogs? Are you looking for regular, long-term, part-time or full time employment? Do you enjoy working independently? Are you a safe and responsible driver? If this describes you, then you may be a good fit for DoodyCalls. DoodyCalls is a fast growing national pet waste removal company. The Portland Oregon franchise started providing service to clients in 2005 and is one of the fasted growing DoodyCalls franchises in the nation.

DoodyCalls provides premium quality “Pooper Scooper” services to homes and businesses, as well as installing and servicing Pet Waste Stations and managed Pet Waste services. Our motto is “When Nature Calls, We Answer”. Our ideal employee is an animal-loving, self-motivated, and highly dependable worker. You must enjoy working outdoors in all sorts of weather, and take great pride and pleasure in providing outstanding customer service to our clients - both the 2-legged (human) variety and the 4-legged (canine) variety.

We have two employee openings - both part time (less than 40 hours a week). We do have some flexible schedule's available working only 2 or 3 days a week, or working 5-6 hours in a day. All jobs are during daylight hours and you will need to be available for at least 6 hrs per shift. Even if employees are part time, we are looking for long term employees who will remain with us as we grow the company. You would either use our company vehicles or you may provide your own reliable transportation (you will be reimbursed for mileage). For this position, you must have completed some college and have Internet access.

To learn more about DoodyCalls, please visit http://www.doodycalls.com. To see an example of the day in the life of a typical employee, check out this article in the Washington Post http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/26/AR2005122600701.html To apply for this job, send an email with your work history and why you think you would be a good fit for this position to Portland@doodycalls.com.

Location: Portland
Compensation: $10 per hour plus bonus

Hey, YOU.

I know you like all these pictures of Monty that I put up periodically and when Star sent me this ad I did a little bit of internal melting, in my heart region.

Mommy and dad say "NO no no!" to this newest mammalian intrigue so I'm calling on all of you who read this. Do you have a little extra room in your heart and house for this little guy for... oh.... 8 more years? PLEASE!? Sigh...