The Big Blue Box

The wonders of retail. In a land of rugs and quilts I reign supreme in my lovely acid-yellow polo shirt and name tag. The fluorescent lights spread their sickly glow on the floor and my shoes squeak if I turn corners with to much sass. Really, it’s a magical place full of wonderment and “fun times”.

My favorite question is “Do you work here?” No, I just like to wear this super sweet unisex uniform, name tag and this hot black belt to this store on the busiest day, just for fun. I’m a glutton for punishment… no, really, seriously.

Yesterday, I was pushing my cart full of the little surprises people leave behind in bins of pillows and bathmats (eggs timers, massive butchering knives, lamps, and plants from other departments) back to the sorting room when an older man stops me. “Do you get a discount here?” he asks, his eyes squinting over wire-rimmed glasses.

Now, I could tell he was leading up to something and my eyebrows immediately arch. “Yeah, we get about 15% (insert giggle here, because he’s old and they eat giggles up like ginger snaps).” At this point he says “Ok, let me show you something” while he reaches into his pocket. At this point the eye brows are no longer perky but scrunched up as I try to anticipate exactly WHAT is going to be coming out of that pocket. He holds out a hand full of change and fishes out one of the larger coins. “Here, you see this pretty lady right here?” he asks as he holds the coin right in front of my nose, close enough that my eyes start to cross and then all of a sudden it’s gone! “Ah, but see, here it is!” He said triumphantly as he “pulled” it out of my ear. There are some moments when I love people, and that was one of them. I smiled for the rest of my shift and I’m still chuckling when I imagine him sitting at home practicing just so he can pull out that trick on an unsuspecting salesgirl. Crafty old fox.